It is easy to be a winner when the sun shines, and when you are in love and all is well. In reality it is much harder in the face of persistent problems and difficulties. On those days we tend to blame the government, the weather, rising prices and all the people around us. Anything and everything that is available that is available can be, an probably will be, blamed.
It is a help at this stage if you recognize the situation that exists, ie. “The Problem is yours – You own it. “Suppose next door’s dog or children are disturbing your Sunday afternoon peace for the umpteenth time. If you go into a loser mood you can say “If there weren’t all these idiot children and dogs in this world I wouldn’t be so tired and fed up on Monday morning at work.”
On the other hand it could have a disastrous effect on the world situation if all children were removed (to say nothing of dogs) so the problem is yours not theirs. The solution is also yours.
Try to get the feeling of ‘It’s my problem!’ under your skin so that it comes quickly into play when you are in a discussion or face a difficult situation.
Remember two things –
- You can change nobody but yourself.
- Angry or unhappy people often do not know what they are angry or unhappy about. If you are straight with them you can probably find out what the real cause of their irritation is.
When you fail to say “It’s my problem” and you point an accusing finger at another, look down and see how many fingers point forward and how many point straight back at you.
By: Peter Frans – Principal Consultant